Kyung Lee
Woolsan Central Baptist Church

I was born to a church-going family and used to go to a small church in Pusan. Speaking diverse kind of tongues was popular in my church when I was a 5th grader at an elementary school. When evangelist preachers came to our church, they taught us to repent of our sins. And each time I sinned, I would write all my sins that I could remember on a plain piece of paper to burn it and prayed very hard but I could not speak in tongues. For the first time, I was skeptical about the Bible, church members and even myself.
Elementary graduation was coming soon and 30 my family had to move to a rented-house because a bank had seized all our property when my father's business went bankrupt. This prevented me from going to school continually and I fell into deep depression. Only books comforted my heart. And finally, my whole life consisted of going to the library to read books. I was seeking for the truth through reading books about social science, psychology, philosophy, etc. and even Christian magazines. Despite this struggle in my heart, I continued to go to church. I could not find any significance from church-going, but I just went there dutifully. I perceived that nothing would change though I went to church service and it was hard for me to bear. I continually attended church and worked hard in the church because of my mother's insistence.
Afterwards, a new pastor came to our church, and he said an uneducated person could also be a pastor, and offered me to go to a theological seminary. I wanted to get away from the hypocritical life and remembered the thoughts of wanting to be a pastor in my childhood. So, I entered a theological seminary in Anyang in 1979.
After one year, however, I wanted to quit the school because of the insincerity and hypocrisy of the professors and students, but the encouragement of my close friends kept me from quitting. Since that time, I began to look for ways to become a light in many organizations that had no affiliation with theology. My efforts turned in vain and I started a church in Kunsan after graduation.
I started again my ministry for university students with all kinds of books of English Bible, social science, psychology, philosophy, and Christianity after starting a church located between Ewha Women's University and Seokang University in Seoul. But not having experienced any transformation in my heart only made my life miserable and I felt uncomfortable with the students who came to my church. And it was very painful to preach a sermon being in a confused state of mind. I thought that I was lying while I was preaching a sermon. I resigned because I was sick of myself and the student's selfishness. And I went on a pilgrimage.
At last, I entered a social community in Suwon, but soon got away. Suddenly unfortunate things came upon our family. My father lost his sight because of glaucoma and my brother died from a traffic accident. Furthermore, even though my father was a Presbyterian and other family members were the deacons in the church, they quarreled with each other and my father and nieces left home.
I went to Pusan and worked in an illegal publishing house. I made some money by bribing the teachers of the elementary schools to make the kids buy my auxiliary textbooks. Meanwhile, my life became meaningless and I became a wandering man who could not go to church nor could go to the world. I thought about suicide many times. I always thought, "Why should I work hard to survive like others?"At that time, my father died. He seemed to go to a place where he really did not want to go rather than going to meet God. The affliction and sense of futility through my father's death and my prodigal life troubled me and did not let me sleep at night.
Most of my friends were encouraging me to start a church again, but I could not do it. My life was not changed, so it was really hard to say to people,'You can be transformed.' I could not resist them, however, and I asked them to give me some time to think it over.
I went to Woolsan to refresh my heart. After having a few cans of beer with my friend in Haksung Park, we came to Woolsan Station to go to Pusan. And there I received a flyer saying 'Forgiveness Of Sins And The Secret Of Being Born Again.' As soon as I received that flyer, I remembered that I got it in Pusan, where I wanted to participate in that evangelical assembly, but I couldn't. So I decided that 'I shall go to the evangelical assembly this time no matter what happened'. I asked my friend to go back by himself, and sat alone on the bench at the station. And the thoughts 'You already left the church a long time ago, didn't you? Nothing will make you change even if you attend that assembly.' affected my heart strongly. I thought of going on board the train, but the thought of 'once more I shall hear' led me to go to the evangelical assembly place. I could not see any chairs there usually seen in the other churches. So I felt that something was wrong but that was not my problem. If I could hear the knowledge of the truth which could stop my long suffering and empty hearted journey, it wouldn't matter whether it was heresy or not.
I heard the words without being aware of how time went. After preaching the message they invited all the people who wanted to experience forgiveness of sins. I was kind of hesitant, but my hand was already raised unconsciously. And I got counselling from the ministers about faith. I knew that the words were right and I also knew that this was the truth, but somehow I could not accept it. The message of the preacher and the brother's continual fellowship kept pounding the door of my heart. Even my heart became more fretful after the Thursday afternoon message.
When I was reading a gospel booklet, I could agree with these words. At supper time, a brother proposed to counsel me. His words only made me resist more, but his last word, "Do you believe that the Bible is the word of God?" struck my heart. I perceived that I was an evil one who had not believed in the Bible, unlike my vague belief until then.
While listening to the words at the evening assembly, I found that I was like the Israelites. They suffered, not enjoying the good way of God because of their own thoughts, even though God had prepared many good things for them by anointing David as the king of Israel. God had prepared all things for me through Jesus Christ, but I was judging the word of God by my own thought, not accepting them with faith. As the words in Galatians 6:7, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked.", I was deceived by myself and put the truth under foot.
The words, "Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!" assured me that all my sins, sins of my past, present and future were already handed over to Jesus 2,000 years ago. I was also able to perceive that the Lord had forgiven all the sins from Adam to eternity. (Hebrew 9:12), once for all (Hebrew 10:10).
When I was sure of my salvation on April 2nd, I began to understand what the words in the Bible really meant. The love and grace of Jesus Christ filled my heart. And I got to know that the right churches (the born-again Christians) can pray to God and praise Him because they really appreciate Him. Before I was saved, I felt resistance from the question, Are you saved? But now God's promise for me became the words of Romans 10:10, "For with the heart, man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth, confession is made unto salvation." I thank God for sealing me with His Holy Spirit and leading me unto eternal life and rest. I heartily desire that, in my life shall appear the words of Acts 1:8, "But ye shall receive power after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you; and ye shall be witnesses unto Me, both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth." And I shall continually be led by the Lord.

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